Picking on the Weak and Vulnerable is Natural, say Government

In justification of their £30 a week cut in ESA payments, the Tories have explained that "is just nature" and is known as "Survival of the Fittest".

"Cripples Don't Count" - The DWP's New Slogan
“Cripples Don’t Count” – The DWP’s New Slogan
baluda / Pixabay -CC0

“If a lion was chasing a pack of gazelle across the Serengeti plains, the strong would get away and the weakest members of the group would be caught and eaten. The weakest would be the smallest, the injured, the youngest and the disabled.”

ESA Payments

These are the words from the Department for Work and Pensions yesterday; in defence of their latest attack on the weakest members of society – namely the £30, per week reduction in ESA payments.

MP’s Pay Rise

Meeting our reporter at an expensive London hotel, DWP spokesperson, Brian Scruntis told us. “We have to make cuts, there is a £50billion HS2 railway  that needs to be built, some fracking plants that need subsidies and of course the pay rise for all MP’s. That money needs to come from somewhere”

He then continued to stuff his face with a cream cake, from a platter, that he bought on expenses.


Speaking with his mouthful, will all cream coming out the sides as he spoke, he continued. “Charles Darwin invented ‘Survival of the Fittest’ ,I think, and people like him. We are only following his rules. Leave the weakest members of society out to die young and they will be less likely to reproduce – thus creating a stronger population. It’s the kindest thing really.”

Reaching over the table, he poured a glass of expensive wine, and chose another cake – this time a chocolate eclair – with his fat stubby little fingers. “We toyed with the idea of euthanasia, but Hitler tried that and it wasn’t popular from what I remember.”

Mother Nature

Belching, and then ordering a whiskey Mr Scuntis further explained, “The type of people who are complaining about this are those that watch a David Attenborough programme and get all upset when the leopard catches and kills a lame antelope. ‘Ooo why doesn’t the cameraman rescue it’ they say. Because the leopard has to eat, that’s why! It’s cruel but it’s just mother nature.”

Ironically at that point, Mr Scruntis clicked his fingers and summoned the waiter demanding to see the luncheon menu. He chose smoked ham hock terrine to start,  followed by slow cooked rolled beef. He didn’t bother with dessert as there were still a few cream cakes left.

“Put it on my expense account!” he grunted to the waiter, before ordering a coffee and asking our reporter to leave.

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A Peasant

George Osborne’s family’s wallpaper business has not paid corporation tax for the last seven years. But in 2014 it paid dividends of £335,000 to its shareholders, including the Chancellor. His mum and dad, Sir Peter and Lady Felicity Osborne, received dividend pay-outs of over £270,000.

Such jolly japes!

Debbie Smith

PLEASE READ AND SHARE THIS! (UK only) Very important. (OFFICIAL petition) MPs have voted to reduce disabled claimants benefits by £30 a week without completing an impact study. Some of the high profile people that waved this through were: Jeremy Hunt – ‘Secretary of State for Health’ (Makes no sense.) Boris Johnson – The ‘lovable’ bumbling Mayor of London. Ian Duncan Smith – Psychopath These MPs along with dozens of others, managed to vote this decision through without catching the public media’s eye. When the Lords tried to discuss carrying out an impact study/assessment of what would happen cutting disabled… Read more »