Please Stop Talking, Teachers Beg Sir Michael Wilshaw

Teachers yesterday begged Sir Michael Wilshaw, the Chief Inspector for Schools, to please stop talking as he is just making things worse.

Shut Up, Shut Up Now!
Shut Up, Shut Up Now!

The plea came as Sir Michael went on national television and told the public that teachers can expect to earn up to £55K after they have been teaching for just 4 years.

It’s all Bollocks

“What is he on?” Asked teacher Mark Cliffby ” I have been a teacher for 18, years and I am head of a successful Science department. I have been rated outstanding numerous times and the maximum I can expect to earn to 40K. It’s all bollocks aimed to make the public hate us even more!”

When we asked a member of the public what they thought of the teaching profession he confirmed Mr Cliffby’s suspicions

Epitome of Laziness

“Teachers are the epitome of laziness”, banker Rupert Curley announced. “They have 13 weeks holiday a year and schools close at 3.30pm. I know this because I went to school, and that’s the time lessons ended. Now I find out they earn £55k. It’s disgusting, I am outraged.”

Director of Studies

Claire Hartness, a history teacher from Dover told us, “There are some people who work in schools who are on a lot of money. They are not what I would call teachers though. They are ‘Assistant Headteachers’, ‘Deputy Headteachers’ and strange things called ‘Director of Studies’. It is their job to piss Government initiatives all over the rest of us, until we break, and leave the building at 8pm crying. – Not that I would want to do their job either because they never stop either !”

Free Helicopter

Next week the Chief Inspector of Schools is expected to lie and tell the media that all newly qualified teachers get a brand new helicopter; in vain attempt to quell the teacher recruitment crisis.

 

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