The BBC were inundated with complaints today as an episode of Postman Pat was broadcast. It contained themes of an ‘adult nature’, explicit imagery and a plethora of hardcore depravity.
Pornhub
Parents were horrified as the episode began with Pat using the Pornhub website, with his trousers round his ankles. As the episode progressed, Pat seemed to become increasingly aroused until he exposed himself in front of Mrs Goggins. Finally, he emptied his postman’s sack all over her floor.
Four-Way Gang-Bang
“It was utter filth,” explained shocked parent, Ida Bumwhole. “My children watch Postman Pat, to watch the hapless protagonist have his hat blown off in the wind, or slip over on some ice.”
“Three minutes into this episode we were treated to a four-way gang-bang involving Pat, Ted Glen, Alf Thompson and his wife Dorothy Thompson”, she exclaimed.
Live Webcam
“Not only that, they set up a live webcam stream watched by Granny Dryden on her iPad whilst she stimulated herself,” she added, in disgust.
TV bosses had been accused of dropping the ball on children’s TV quality control after an episode of Fireman Sam was broadcast where he defiled the Qur’an. This most recent incident only serves to highlight this issue further.
Dogging
“We can only apologize to our viewers,” BBC official, Gary Fedfart told the Druid’s Loom.
“It was obviously an oversight to broadcast this programme. Clearly, an episode that features Pat engaging in cunnilingus with Mrs Hubbard; before joining Reverend Timms and Dr Gilbertson for a spot of dogging at the back of Greendale Post Office, is not appropriate for our younger audiences.”
“We can only assure license payers that fellatio, spit roasting and anal sex are all themes that will definitely not be included in any further Cbeebies output,” he concluded.
Long and Thick
However, not all viewers were disappointed by the content of the episode.
“I quite liked it,” explained Karen Witherflaps. “I spent the episode imagining how much more exciting my sex life would be if my husband nose was as long and thick as Pat’s.”
Editors Note: Whilst deemed unfit for broadcast, “Pat and the Cream-pie Bukkake” can still be downloaded via the Xhamster website.
