People across the country were amazed today when the controversial comedian Roy 'Chubby' Brown won the poet laureate award for some of his publicly displayed work.
Stand-up comedian Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown has won the poet laureate award for 2017. The controversial blue funny man won the coveted prize after one of the competition’s judges discovered one of his poems written on a public toilet wall in Middlesbrough.
Roy Chubby Browns Poems
Brown said “I’m thrilled. I never thought a working class comic like myself could have a poem recognised by such a prestigious literary organisation. It was a happenstance
thing really. I used to pen little ditties inside my favourite public toilet cubicle in my home town. I noticed other visitors had expressed their thoughts by using a felt tip pen to write on the walls, and this seemed to bring out the poet in me.
From the outset the competition judge was hoping to unearth another ‘I Wondered Lonely As A Cloud’ by William Wordsworth, ‘Do Not Go Gently Into That Good Night’ by Dylan Thomas, or ‘And Did Those Feet In Ancient Times’ by William Blake, so it was sheer random luck that he managed to spot my poem amongst the public’s untidy cluster of transitory doodles such as: ‘I want to slam my skanky rod into your slop corridor’, ‘I want to drill my rancid flesh baguette into your sewerage crevice’, and ‘I really want to hammer my filth pipe into your slimy scum dungeon’”.
The Archbishop of Canterbury today said that he is not racist and some of his best mates are black. He went on to add however that, he is a bit scared of the grubby, scary looking ones who, in fear of their lives, are desperately trying to flee an oppressive regime.
What can the Conservative Party offer a working-class kid from Rochdale?
Ordinarily, fuck-all. However, if that working-class kid from Rochdale had been a managing director at Deutsche bank, a millionaire, an MP for eight years, a cabinet minister for four years, and the son of a bus driver, then its the position of Home Secretary!