Roy Chubby Brown Wins Poet Laureate Award

People across the country were amazed today when the controversial comedian Roy 'Chubby' Brown won the poet laureate award for some of his publicly displayed work. 

A Beautiful Poem - Yesterday
A Beautiful Poem – Yesterday

Stand-up comedian Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown has won the poet laureate award for 2017. The controversial blue funny man won the coveted prize after one of the competition’s judges discovered one of his poems written on a public toilet wall in Middlesbrough.

Roy Chubby Browns Poems

Brown said “I’m thrilled. I never thought a working class comic like myself could have a poem recognised by such a prestigious literary organisation. It was a happenstance
thing really. I used to pen little ditties inside my favourite public toilet cubicle in my home town. I noticed other visitors had expressed their thoughts by using a felt tip pen to write on the walls, and this seemed to bring out the poet in me.

Sewerage Crevice

From the outset the competition judge was hoping to unearth another ‘I Wondered Lonely As A Cloud’ by William Wordsworth, ‘Do Not Go Gently Into That Good Night’ by Dylan Thomas, or ‘And Did Those Feet In Ancient Times’ by William Blake, so it was sheer random luck that he managed to spot my poem amongst the public’s untidy cluster of transitory doodles such as: ‘I want to slam my skanky rod into your slop corridor’, ‘I want to drill my rancid flesh baguette into your sewerage crevice’, and ‘I really want to hammer my filth pipe into your slimy scum dungeon’”.


I gazed up at
the night sky, picked
a star and wondered
what it meant, and then
as if to tell me it
flickered like a signal –
like a message sent.
This star so
silent, so lonely
lit, and I will never
touch it, but
it has touched
me and this is
my epiphany –
I don’t know
where the stars
were born or even
why they’re there,
but I think they’re trying
to tell me that
the answers are in
Gladys Sprocket’s fanny hair.

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