Rugby Players Get Injured – Says Department for Stating the Obvious

The Department for Stating the Obvious has today announced that tackling in the game of rugby (a contact sport) can result in injury.

Rugby - Can Result in Injury - Believe it or Not!
Rugby – Can Result in Injury – Believe it or Not!
skeeze / Pixabay – CC0

The news came as absolutely no surprise to anybody who has either played, watched, or knows the basic rules of the game.

Beating the Shit out of Each Other

The brutal contact sport that uses very little body armour basically consists of a team of 15 players beating the shit out of another team of 15 players.

Obvious

The Department for Stating the Obvious disclosed in a statement today, “After a 4 year study completed by a group of 70 doctors we have concluded  that during the game of rugby people get hurt from time to time – um, that’s about it really.”

Brick Shit-Houses

Classroom victim, Cecil Wormrug told The Druid’s Loom, “I have been forced to play this game at school for years and I am, quite frankly lucky to be alive. Most of my classmates went through puberty about 2 years before me and as a result are built like ‘brick shit-houses’. It doesn’t take a team of 70 doctors,  to tell me I will probably get injured. Even the bigger guys get hurt, but they seem to like it.

Further revelations from the Department for Stating the Obvious are:

1) Barbecues can he hot, so don’t place your hands into the flames.
2) Spending more then ten minutes underwater, without oxygen can result in drowning.
3) Jeremy Hunt is a bit of a smarmy, slimy dick, with as much charisma as an anal wart, and is intent on selling off the NHS.
4) Donald Trump has a really weird looking face.

 

 

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Elf and Safety

That’s Richard Littlejohn’s column in the Daily Mail sorted for this week….. Elf and Safety gone mad – You couldn’t make it up. Dopey Bird…. etc etc….