skeeze / Pixabay – CC0
The news came as absolutely no surprise to anybody who has either played, watched, or knows the basic rules of the game.
Beating the Shit out of Each Other
The brutal contact sport that uses very little body armour basically consists of a team of 15 players beating the shit out of another team of 15 players.
Obvious
The Department for Stating the Obvious disclosed in a statement today, “After a 4 year study completed by a group of 70 doctors we have concluded that during the game of rugby people get hurt from time to time – um, that’s about it really.”
Brick Shit-Houses
Classroom victim, Cecil Wormrug told The Druid’s Loom, “I have been forced to play this game at school for years and I am, quite frankly lucky to be alive. Most of my classmates went through puberty about 2 years before me and as a result are built like ‘brick shit-houses’. It doesn’t take a team of 70 doctors, to tell me I will probably get injured. Even the bigger guys get hurt, but they seem to like it.“
1) Barbecues can he hot, so don’t place your hands into the flames.
2) Spending more then ten minutes underwater, without oxygen can result in drowning.
3) Jeremy Hunt is a bit of a smarmy, slimy dick, with as much charisma as an anal wart, and is intent on selling off the NHS.
4) Donald Trump has a really weird looking face.
That’s Richard Littlejohn’s column in the Daily Mail sorted for this week….. Elf and Safety gone mad – You couldn’t make it up. Dopey Bird…. etc etc….