Ryanair to be renamed Ryanground

The budget airline carrier, Ryanair, is to be renamed Ryan, as it no longer fulfils any of the requirements of a transport system.

A Ryanair plane, not flying, yesterday, or anytime soon.
A Ryanair plane, not flying, yesterday, or anytime soon.
Tieske / Pixabay

Cheap and nasty airline, Ryanair, has today decided to rename itself  ‘Ryanground’, to reflect the fact that none of its aeroplanes actually fly anymore.

Classic Ryanair Contempt

400,000 passengers were treated with utter contempt today, as they were told that their flights would be cancelled.

Grounded 737’s

Dennis O’Flumperty, A spokesperson for Ryanground, told the Druid’s Loom, “To any ‘passenger’ who has had their flight cancelled, we would like to invite them to visit the new Ryanground Museum of Flight. They will be able browse around hundreds of grounded 737’s and A320’s – it’s a great day out.

Free Entry

The cost of entry to the museum is free and this includes unlimited access to the gift shop. To go any further into the museum does require a surcharge of £27.50 per person. Coffee is available from the cafe at £12 per cup with access to the seating area for a further £4 per person.

We hope that many of the people disappointed by their flight cancellation will come and join us as this wonderful exhibition of a low cost, shite flying experience.

EasyJet

Passenger, Ben Curdlemilk explained, “We had to cancel our two week holiday in Benidorm, thanks to those fuckers at Ryanground. Thankfully they invited us to their Museum of Flight. The only problem is that it’s at their HQ in Ireland, so it will probably mean booking with EasyJet to go and see it.

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