SamCam Disappointed by ‘New’ Car

Samantha Cameron was reportedly incandescent with rage when David gave her a used Nissan Micra; costing £1495; earlier this morning.

"What a Tight Fisted Bastard" says SamCam
“What a Tight Fisted Bastard” says SamCam
Image Modified, courtesy of David Dixon, under the CC BY-SA2.0 License

Terri Schmump, a close friend of Samantha Cameron , told us today, how the wife of the Prime Minister was reduced to tears when she received a  second hand Nissan Micra from her millionaire husband.

Pig’s Head Thing
It’s been a tough year from Samantha,” Terri explained, “She hasn’t forgiven David for that ‘pigs head’ thing – imagine how humiliating that must have been for her.

Anyway she wanted a new car, something that would be good for the environment and have a lower congestion charge – she was hoping for one of those Tesla things. Imagine her disappointment when David turned up, with what’s basically a 17 year old’s first car!” she added.

Burst into Tears
Samantha reportedly burst into tears when she saw the vehicle and ran up the Downing Street stairs screaming, “You tight-fisted pig abuser!” before locking herself in the bedroom.

Funny Brown Stain
David managed to persuade her to come out and at least have a look around the car, but it wasn’t even in great condition,” she continued. “The upholstery was worn, and there was a funny brown stain on the back seat. Its previous owner was obviously a heavy smoker and the near side passenger window wouldn’t open.

Toyota Prius
Terri explained that Mr Cameron wanted a car that would appeal to the “common voter” and not appear to be too extravagant.
If he wants that so much why doesn’t he trade in his chauffeur driven,  terrorist proof, Jaguar XJ Sentinel for a bloody Toyota Prius or something,” she vented.

Samantha remains at Terri’s house until David returns the car, but Mr Cameron is refusing because he has already forked out for the tax and insurance.



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Larry the Lamb.
May 23, 2016 18:52

You would have thought Dave would have bought a Smart Car,or a Dodgem.Dodgy Dave buys a Dodgem,Thicko Dave buys a Smart Car.

May 24, 2016 21:26

I think that its really good that David Cameron wants to be like a normal person. I expect he is quite nice when you get to meet him. I think its a nice gesture buying his wife a car.

May 24, 2016 22:22
Reply to  Simon

Cameron is completely out of touch with reality, and a megalomaniac who only cares about money.

jenny d
May 24, 2016 22:48

Hes just a man, hygiene for the kids didnt come to mind, trying to impress the public, but itd no one eoses biz , he auto got her a nice hyundai matfix, none smokinb