Scruffy Turd Doesn’t Give a Shit About You

Disheveled arsehole, national embarrassment, and flood coward PM, Boris Johnson, admitted yesterday that it's fine if 1.2million people die of Coronavirus and that Britain should just take it on the chin.

A Scruffy Turd - Yesterday
A Scruffy Turd – Yesterday – Image courtesy of Snoopingasusual under the CC2.0 License

Uncaring Posh Twat

Appearing on This Morning, our Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, waffled and stuttered his way through a painful interview where is said that the British should man up and “Take Coronavirus on the Chin”. Forgetting that many people, may be suffering from additional health complications, that could be extremely dangerous if exposed to Covid-19.

The Blithering moron went on to repeat Dominic Cummings’ sinister words, “hmmmmm waffle, spluffle, wuffle. We should waffle allow the disease to spread through the population”, before ruffling his fucking hair in a jovial manner.

Virus Fodder

I couldn’t believe it,” said dry stone wall builder, Harry Numbnips. “I voted for Brexit and I voted for Boris and now he tells me I am basically virus fodder.

Mr Numbnips went on to explain his medical condition. “I have a lung condition from dry stone wall spores, it could be curtains for me. I better go and panic buy some toilet rolls. That will save me.

Pasta

“I don’t think Boris understands what we are all going through,” explained Mary Mental, a hard done by yummy mummy from the Home Counties. “I went into Waitrose yesterday and bought up all the luxury toilet rolls, organic pasta, rice and a range of luxury sauces. I went back today to get more and the stocks still hadn’t been replenished. I had to buy, standard whole grain pasta, and non quilted shitter paper.” she wailed.

Bursting into tears she added, “Five out of my seven bedrooms are full of stuff to wipe my arse on, and a range of tasteless carbohydrates. Is that enough, or do I debase myself by going to Lidl tomorrow?

Fucking Mental

The Druid’s Loom approached Dr Gruntnut for some medical advice, with regard to the current station. “Basically people are being fucking mental,” she explained. “Covid-19 does not give you the shits and does not make you want to eat pasta or rice based dishes. It’s more likely to make you lose your appetite and cough your guts up,” she told us.

As for the Boris Johnson’s  as opposed to ‘taking it on the chin’, I would prefer if he bent over and allowed me to kick him right up his fat arse.

 

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