Some Children Exempt from Two Child Benefit Limit.

Despite a ruling yesterday, stating that the "Two Child Benefit Limit" is lawful, the Druid's Loom can reveal today that some couples are exempt and will still receive state handouts.

A State Funded Baby - Born Earlier Today
A State Funded Baby – Born Earlier Today

In a recent court case it was ruled that anybody who has a third or subsequent child, will no longer receive child benefit for that child. This is despite the possible financial hardship that this could entail.

Benefit Ruling

However, for one lucky couple, they have just found out that they are exempt from this benefit ruling.

I couldn’t believe my luck,” said a jubilant William Windsor, today, after the birth of his third child. “I have just got the news that the state will continue to pay me for my third child – AND any more I decide to have,” he grinned.

Hunting Trips

Me and the missus were worried that we would have to cut down on helicopter trips, really expensive clothes, and hunting trips; but it turns out that the state will fund baby number three, not just until he leaves full-time education, but for the rest of his life too. Its fucking brilliant,” he added.

Well Wishers

Well wishers, gathered around the hospital were all really pleased for the lucky couple.
I have to visit food banks to feed my family of five. Our meals consist of what is essentially flavoured gruel and my youngest is clinically malnourished,” explained Jacqueline Stupidarse,  “But I have spent what is left of my pittance to come and catch a glimpse of this very fortunate baby and lucky couple,” she dribbled enthusiastically.

Getting Shot

Our reporter asked Mr Windsor what he thought of the benefit rules and how these affect most people in the country.
I really couldn’t care less, now move out of my way before I have you all shot – I can do that you know – I’m second in line to the throne.


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