Justin Welby, the senior bishop and principal leader of the Church of England explained today that he is pretty scared of these foreign types that are entering his country. As a person who heads up a religion that preaches tolerance; he explained that he believes it is not racist to be a little bit nervous of swarthy looking foreign types.
Stealing Our Jobs
“I am definitely not racist.” he told The Druid’s Loom. “Just last week I helped raised some money to buy a well for some brown people in Africa. It’s just when they come over here, and start stealing our jobs and stuff… it’s that I don’t like.”
Asked whether in his position as an eminent Church leader he should be vocalizing his opinion on immigration and the UK’s position in Europe, he said “Yes, definitely – the right wing press will publish it and it will strengthen the Brexit cause.”
The Archbishop’s line manager, God, was not so happy about Mr Welby’s stance. “As a premiere religious leader, the Archbishop of Canterbury should remain impartial to political affairs. I shall be having stern words with him at our next prayer meeting. If this kind of thing continues it will need to become a target on his appraisal for the coming year. The Archbishop needs to be tolerant of all human beings regardless of colour or creed – It’s all there in the department handbook, under ‘Peter – Chapter 3, verses 8-11’.”