Teach Children in Small Chunks, Says Senior Citizen Egg Sucking Mentor.

Minister for State Schools, Nick Gibb -  trying to demonstrate that he knows loads about evidence based educational research - patronisingly explained that teaching children small bits of information over a period of time was better than trying to teach everything at once.

Nick Gibb
Full of useful Ideas – Nick Gibb – Yesterday”
Image Courtesy of Policy Exchange via Flickr under the CC BY2.0 License

In what he thought was a revelation, Minister for State Schools, explained that he thought trying to teach a single subject, all in one go was probably not the best approach. He suggested breaking down the subject into a series of small topics.

Small Humans
Each of these topics can be further broken down into discrete, but connected elements, which I like to call ‘lessons’,” he explained, smiling to his little self. “Even once you get into the lesson, you can split it into further small bits of information or activities. This helps the small humans do something that I like to call ‘learning’,” he added.

Mr Gibb, then went onto to explain the reasoning behind the process.

Take the subject biology for example. That’s huge, it would be impossible to teach something this all at once,” he told the Druid’s Loom, getting a bit over excited. “You could take one area of this – Photosynthesis for example – and break this down into a series of lessons, starting with the simple bits and gradually getting more advanced. The ‘learning’ could also include a practical element or ‘experiment’, so students can apply their learning.

I think this approach would revolutionise teaching – I just hope these hand wringing, liberal teachers take this on board,” he smirked.

Other Ideas
Mr Gibbs other ideas for education include:

  • Getting the students to acknowledge their presence in school, by answering their names from some kind of ‘register’.
  • Writing information down in ‘exercise books’, so they can refer to it later.
  • Children who misbehave being punished in some kind of system where they are ‘detained’ after school.
  • Some kind of formal test at the end of the year, where students prove how much they have learned.

Headteacher of The Kumquat Academy, Martin Flopwobble,  gave his thoughts in a telephone interview with The Druid’s Loom. “What a fucking idiot,”  he explained and slammed the phone down angrily.

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