The report from the Centre Forum Think-Tank, pointed out that British students were shit compared to students from other countries. Students reacted with dismay at the news saying that they never actually realised it was a competition in the first place.
Get Good Grades
“It’s bloody stupid,” exclaimed Sandy Bigglebot a GCSE student from Birmingham, “No one told us we had to compete against these students. We have just done our work that we are supposed to do. Anyway – why does it matter – I have no ambition to work in another country – like about 95% of all students in the UK. I just want to do the best I can, get good grades and possibly go to uni in the future.”
Brandon Clotnot from the same school said, “I’m 15, I don’t give a shit about global competitiveness, I just want to get my homework done as fast as I can so I can go on my Xbox, or text my mates.”
Peter Grundyhump a spokesman for the Department of Education told the Druid’s Loom, “We welcome this report because it gives us yet another stick to bash schools, teachers and young people with. We have been telling you they are crap for years – now this just proves it.”