“That Will Teach You!” – Government Tells Teachers

The Department of Education today told teachers, "Just don't piss us off - we have the power to make your lives even more miserable."

Next Time its Your Holidays!
Next Time its Your Holidays!
hdornak / Pixabay

The comments came today after the Department of Education announced that it was going to increase the length of the school day.


Basically teachers are a right pain in the arse, with an opinion about everything.” Julie Fartburger a Department of Education spokesperson told us.

Bloody Idiots

Mrs Fartburger, who is Head of “Teacher Bothering” explained, “Do they really think nothing is going to happen when they piss us off? Haven’t they learned from last time? When they moaned about workload – we messed up their pensions – it’s going to keep happening, bloody idiots!


Below is the published list of Department of Education retributions

Department of Education – Teacher Punishment Record

  1. Teachers expressed concern about changes to the examinations system: Action – Freeze salary for a million years.
  2. Teachers complained about workload : Action – Screw up the pensions.
  3. Teachers moaned about KS2 assessment: Action  – All schools become academies.
  4. Teachers complained about academies: Action – Longer school day.
  5. Next thing – We’ll fuck up their holidays – lol!

Before leaving Mrs Fartburger added, “They moaned when we filled up the curriculum with so much stuff there was no room for subjects like art, drama and music – now when we give them more time, they moan again. We can’t win!‘”

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Claire G
March 17, 2016 16:36

I have a feeling that this article is fake. Just look at the surname of the lady!
Just goes to show you can’t believe everything you read on the internet.