The Right Guy For The Knob Job

Davey C turned his back on his career and seeks advice on whether he should answer calls or paint dildos.

Mo’s Dildos, now recruiting. geralt / Pixabay

Dear Auntie Druid,

I’m seeking guidance on a work related matter, I have recently quit my job and don’t know what to do next.
I had a really good job, an important job with loads of responsibility, and more authority than you could wave a shitty stick at. No matter what I did everybody slagged me off and said I was a tosser, they also said i couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery. I didn’t care, as Mr Sinatra famously said, I did it my way.
Unfortunately circumstances changed, so I told them to shove the job up their arse.
I’m looking to get into a new career, preferably something less challenging. This week alone I have applied for 51 call centre jobs but I’ve been told by the job centre I’d be better suited to working in a dildo factory, painting the mushroom tips.
Auntie Druid, what would you advise me to do? Should I persevere with the call centre path or do you think I should take the advice from the job centre and enter the rubber dick world?

Kind regards,
Davey C.

Dear Tosser,

 It sounds like you haven’t had much praise in your previous job, but walking out is a bit of a shit bag move. Oh well, it’s done.
Personally I’d go for the dildo factory, your efforts will be appreciate and you would sleep better at night knowing your work has contributed to satisfying thousands of people for once. No longer will people call you a tosser, they will see you as the saviour of their sex lives…or lack of.

Of course, there’s always the perk of staff discount, should you wish to experience your handiwork first hand.

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