Clifton Turtle

Are you suffering from a burning sensation when you take a piss? Maybe you have piles? Or perhaps you just can’t get it up? Whatever your problem, Clifton Turtle is here to help. Please Note: Clifton is completely unqualified to help you, and the Druid’s Loom takes no responsibility for any injury caused when following his advice.

The Right Guy For The Knob Job

11th June 2017

Davey C turned his back on his career and seeks advice on whether he should answer calls or paint dildos.

I don’t know what the C stands for in your name, I can only assume that it is cock.

Got A Problem? — Clifton Can Help

If you have an embarrassing problem, why not send it to us at the Druid's Loom, so the public can have a chuckle at your expense. 

Clifton will do his best to offer you support and advice, but please note, he is a borderline psychopath with the emotional intelligence of a slug.

Send details of your ailment or predicament to – problem@druidsloom.co.uk or fill in the form at the bottom of the page. We regret, that whilst we receive many hundreds of pictures of disfigured genitals, we are unable to publish them, on this site.

Problem Page

Email  Us at

problem@druidsloom.co.uk

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