Drunken English fans caused havoc in France yesterday when they began chanting racist abuse at local muslims, who then retaliated.
“I didn’t do nuffink wrong“, explained football fan, Curt Scrotumface. “Some fuckin’ Muslims, who was French too, walked past and I started shouting ‘Where is ISIS?’, what wrong wiv that? It’s just banter.“, he added, with a confused expression on his raddled Neanderthal face.
“Yeah,” his friend Lee Bollockbrain told us. “They didn’t like it and chased us for some fuckin’ reason. It’s okay though, ‘cos I busted up a patio chair and smashed them in the face. It’s self defence enit!“
Racist Little Turds
Following the clash the EU has decided that it is going to back Brexit, especially if it means fewer racist little turds are able to travel across borders without security checks.
“There are many economic and social reasons why Britain should stay in the EU,” a EU spokesperson told the Druid’s Loom, “However, these abhorrent individuals are disgusting, and if they epitomise the British attitudes to tolerance I think we would all be better off without them.“
The Druid’s loom also approached ISIS to ask them their views on the British hooligans who think they can take on the terrorist organisation.
“Our attacks are well planned and highly coordinated,” ISIS explained. “We are certainly not going to enter into a street fight with a bunch of piss heads. Our preferred method of attack is to use either high explosives or assault weapons, as opposed to a few broken chairs and tables. Any clash with these morons would probably be a tad one-sided“.
Meanwhile, in a French prison cell, Curt and Lee are busy asking the guards who it was who won the war and making ‘ribbiting’ noises.