It’s been a long time coming but the well known spy franchise has finally announced who is to be the next bond.

The Name’s Bond, James Bond

The film’s producer Louis Gordon commented, “It’s not a traditional appointment for the role, but toilet roll is very capable of portraying a debonair, womanising secret service agent.“

Quality Cardboard Tube

The studio believes that when a toilet tissue is fortified with quality cardboard, you have a 007 in the making. A 007 taking its rightful place among the pantheon of British screen icons: Connery, Moore, Brosnan, Lazenby, Craig, and soon to be bog roll – the first bog roll Bond.

Bog Roll Sex Symbol

The Bond girls casted for the new movie are relishing the prospect to star alongside the bog roll sex symbol. As the Greek god of lust Aphrodite once said, ‘There’s nothing more arousing than feeling the velvety contours of tissue paper brushing against your tights.’

The new Bond car will be fitted with a special toilet roll holder gadget so toilet roll can rest between scenes.

  007, Bond, JamesBond