This week, Donald Trump continues to recruit for his top government positions; however it has required a strategic re-think due to the illuminating news that his surname is another term for flatulence.
It has become clear that he now wishes to surround himself with staff and allies that also have surnames that could be construed as colloquial expressions for bottom burps…..This will in turn cement his position further as a man who does not take kindly to ridicule…and a justifiable reason for building a wall to protect Americans from the triple bean burrito.
Today it was announced that his new secretary of State for Education will be Rhonda Squeaker, known for her ability to hold it together in a crisis. Accompanying her to a top White House position is the recently hired Alan Queef, Senior Advisor for Equality, who it has been reported is prone to uncontrollable outbursts at inopportune moments, as well as the newly appointed Foreign Secretary, Stanley Brad Daniels (SBD to his friends). Daniels, in his role as Governor for Wisconsin was widely responsible for egging on the extremists with a stealth-like skill to avoid attention.
Many Journalists are now contemplating the real reasons behind Trump’s request for Nigel Farage to become Ambassador to the US, was it really that they are close friends or the fact that Farage’s middle name is ‘Arse-Biscuit’. Whatever the reason, it is undoubtedly too dangerous for Theresa May to grant this request as it is widely known that the UKIP Leader is full of shit, this would be an expensive clean-up if diplomacy broke down and would certainly dampen the ‘Special Relationship’.
There are rumours from Capitol Hill that the President-Elect will also rename his personal Jet, ‘Air Force One-Out’. However this idea may not follow-through as it lacks support from Commodore Holdit’in, Chief Officer of Air Services.
The political picture will never be the same again, that is the only guarantee from what has been a turbulent few weeks. Brexit means Brexit, and Trump indeed DOES mean ‘Fart’……