Trump’s Bonce in Border Dispute

Donald Trump is facing a setback to his presidential nomination campaign this week after it was revealed his hair is Mexican.

Trump's Maine is Mexican Menace
Trump’s Maine is Mexican Menace
llh / Pixabay -CCO

The discovery was made after an aide while administering one of Mr Trump’s 12 daily hair grooming. The aide is said to have “smelled refried beans” and “heard faint mariachi music” emanating from the billionaire’s head.

Citizenship Test

The concerned aide took an errant strand of Trump’s hair for DNA verification and a citizenship test. The aide has since left the campaign under a hairy cloud of questions.

Bedtime Box

 It’s thought the discovery was not made earlier due to Mr Trump’s maximum volume speaking policy which has served him well so far. Insiders say Mr Trump only lowers his voice during his grooming and when the bedtime box is placed over his head to indicate sleep must begin. Previous to the bedtime box Mr Trump would shout ethnic slurs at walls until total exhaustion overpowered him.

Hair Abuse 

Some are speculating the discovery may be the cause of Mr Trump’s well documented anti Mexican views. Mr Trump’s Mexican hair may have been giving out the faint sounds of trumpets in his head for decades, possibly his entire life. Some went as far as to suggest Mr Trump’s opening campaign remarks about Mexicans being rapists may have been caused by past abuse by the hair.

Head of Mexican hair studies at the University of Bolton Professor Samuel Holay said: “Mexican hair is widely considered among the best in the world. By using Mexican hair Mr Trump is joining a long list of south of the border follicle fans. Mexican hair has been worn by Lady Gaga,


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