TV Meerkat has Rabies

Tragedy struck the world of television advertising today with the announcement that Aleksandr Orlov, CEO of comparethemeerkat.com, is suffering from rabies.

A Meercat, with Rabies - Yesterday
A Meerkat, with Rabies – Simples
papaya45 / Pixabay – CC0

In a statement issued by his lawyer on behalf of his family, it was confirmed that Aleksandr is foaming at the mouth and biting people. It is believed he is being restrained at a private hospital somewhere in Surrey that specialises in tropical diseases.

Comparetherabies.com

According to his family there are several treatments available for rabies but they are not sure which one is best. Their lawyer told The Druid’s Loom – ‘We looked at comparetherabies.com but it could only suggest a better deal on pet insurance, which isn’t very helpful under the circumstances.’

Vet with a Gun

Sergei, who is in an abusive relationship with Aleksandr, was reportedly bitten last night and is under close observation at the same hospital. A vet with a gun is on standby and authorities say there is no cause for alarm.

Messages of Sympathy

Confused.com, a rival comparison website that offers kids toys to grown-ups, issued a message of sympathy to Aleksandr’s family. The company suffered a similar trauma last year when BRIAN the robot became self-aware and tried to kill everyone at their head office.

If you would like to send a message of support to Aleksandr’s family, please don’t.

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