In a speech yesterday – American Donald Trump said England was unsafe after the recent terror attacks in Europe.
His speech was befuddled and mixed up, almost as if he didn’t really understand where England was or its relationship to the rest of the UK.
“I believe that Englandshire is now unsafe, and Americans should not go there because guns are not allowed.” he barked. “How can the Londontown people defend themselves against ISIS. They need to build a wall around the country of London, and all the other countries in Englandshire, such as Stonehenge and Buckinghampalaceshire“
Last year 13,286 people lost their lives in America (10 people per 100,000), due to gun crime. In the UK it was just 0.23 people per 100,000 (Stats from Wikipedia or something).
Beatie Brownbread, spokeswoman for the British Tourist Board told the Druid’s Loom, “It’s a bit rich, Mr Trump saying this when violent crime, particularly gun crime, is so high in America. Also, even if it were really unsafe here – it’s hardly a competition is it? – That sort of rhetoric is really rather callous.”
It’s isn’t just officials who are a little hurt, by Mr Trump’s spiteful, unnecessary and rather misguided remarks.
Disgusting Fat Turd
“I remember the UK fully supporting America in 2001, after the terror attacks on the twin towers. In fact most of our current problems probably stem from that support.” said Luke Chumbawumba, an electrician from Bedworth. “What he is saying is a load of bollocks. However, if what he believes keeps that disgusting fat turd out of our country I can live with it.“