Uncouth Act at Remembrance Day Inspires Award Winning Poem

Basildon poet Alan Wright has won 'Poem Of The Year 2016' - an impromptu poem recital inspired by the actions of an uncouth man in the crowd at London's Remembrance Day.

Always keep a bottle opener handy at public events!
Always keep a bottle opener handy at public events!
stevepb / Pixabay

Mr Wright 52, told The Druids Loom “I was invited initially to recite a poem to honour the sacrifices British soldiers have made in past wars. Her Majesty the Queen and leaders of the main political party’s laid down wreaths at the base of the Cenotaph and a two minutes silence was impeccably observed.

Horrified
I stood up on stage with my poem and I looked at the faces of the brave soldiers in uniform – decorated in their medals. I looked at the solemn faces of the poppy-wearing public – their heads bowed. Then I saw a bloke bent over, trying to open a beer bottle with his ass cheeks. I was so horrified by this I felt compelled to recite an impromptu poem about it, so I abandoned my scheduled war poem – ‘My British Rose’, and instead read ‘Get That Beer Bottle From Out Of Your Asshole“.

Transcript
The Druid’s Loom is pleased to be able to publish a full transcript of the poem.

Get That Beer Bottle From Out Of Your Asshole

Get that beer bottle from out of your asshole,
remembrance day protocol does not expect such
a vulgar exhibition – show some respect.

Valiant men died so you could be free,
not so you could open a bottle with your ass –
for the whole world to see.

Remembrance Day marred,
by the image of a bottle in your anus –
our fragile minds indelibly scarred,

this act so brazen – undignified – so crass,
may these heroes pour their due scorn
over your fat encroaching ass.

Next year don’t bring that beer
and stuff it into your gap,
just remember to bring a bottle opener
or make sure it has a screw on cap.

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