Parts of Wales and the South West of England, that were ‘devastated’ by the earthquake earlier today, were horrified to learn that Oxfam was dispatching aid workers to the worst affected areas.
Earthquake Causing Widespread Damage
The earthquake, which measured 4.4 on the Richter scale, caused widespread damage, including – spilt drinks, cracks in loose plaster, and the odd slate falling from a roof.
“Haven’t we suffered enough,” declared Brandy Jones, a prostitute from Caerphilly.
“I spilt coffee all over my carpet and I am busy cleaning it up. The last thing I need is some dusty aid worker from Oxfam turning up and paying me for sex,” she added.
Officials from the disaster epicentre told the Druid’s Loom, that some parts of Wales were now a “no go” area, due to broken tiles, littering the pavements.
“One roadside café had to close for 10 minutes, earlier today, as the hot water urn tripped the electricity supply, as a tilt sensor underneath kicked in” councillor Bryn Wryn explained.
Sex Starved Bloke in Shorts
“The people of Wales are in a very vulnerable position at the moment and need to come to terms with the shock of the quake and damage to property. I don’t think a visit from a sex starved bloke in shorts is going to help the situation,” he continued.
A spokesperson for Oxfam, Judy Gimpmask told us, “Our aid workers are all highly trained professionals They are expert at dealing with emergency situations like this. They will go to the region to make sure that the area is safe for human habitation, and utilities such as water and electricity are working.“
“Only then, will they descend on the brothels and bordellos for rampant and uninhibited paid sex with local whores,” she explained.