Wetherspoons Social Media Blackout Won’t Improve Food

Wetherspoons today announced that they would be closing down all their social media accounts, as no amount of photographic manipulation can make their food appear edible.

A Plate of Shit, Yesterday
A Plate of Shit, Yesterday

As the greasy and sticky pub chain, Wetherspoons announced that it was going to remove all it’s social media presence on the internet, customers have responded by saying there are probably other things it could to to improve its gastronomic offerings.

Wetherspoons – Greasy and Sticky

I ordered a bacon burger with cheese, from the Lord Rosebery branch in Scarborough,” explained Curtis Scruntis, a local Uber Driver. “The burnt offerings that arrived, resembled 3 week old road kill. It was only the fact that it was still smouldering that told me otherwise,” he added.

Pile of Sick

Curtis’ wife, Dericka took a picture of her Cesar Salad and Chips, and placed it on Instagram. “I added filter after filter,” she explained. “But nothing could stop it looking like a pile of sick.


Mullet sporting Wetherspoons Boss, Tim Martin, wittered on about stuff he didn’t really know about. “There are trolls,” he explained. “People use social media too much, ” he added. “I know what’s best for everyone,” he declared, before pouring a pint and mumbling to himself in the corner about the good old days.

Cambridge Analytica

Jason Monkgoose, a regular visitor to Wetherspoons Pubs, told the Druid’s Loom, “Go there for the food? Good heavens no! I go there to watch racists and bigots getting drunk at 9am and fighting in the street by 11am. It’s a hoot.”

In fact the only reason that I think they have deleted all their social media accounts is because they were doing something dodgy with Cambridge Analytica during the Brexit campaign!

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