Woman the First to Marry Ghoul

When a Hendon woman moved in to her new home, little did she know it would be love at first fright!

Love at First Fright
Love at First Fright
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A Hendon woman has entered the history books today as the first person ever to marry a ghost.

Modelling Industry
When Jackie Laney moved to Hendon to pursue an opportunity in the modelling industry, she had no idea that the house in which she would be living in – would be already occupied!

Upon checking out the outdoor lavatory, Jackie discovered that she was sharing a house with a ghost, a spirit that she would later fall madly and deeply in love with.
Mrs Laney shared with the Druid’s Loom, her very own Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze style love story – minus the pottery wheel.

Shit Bricks
The house was amazing, it was like something out of a magazine, you know, like the kind of magazine they put Anthea Turner on the front of. I sauntered through the entire house exploring every nook and cranny,” she told The Druids Loom. “But when I opened the back door to check out the garden, I heard strange, haunting noises coming from a tiny shed, I started to shit bricks but I was drawn to the door, my hand was shaking uncontrollably going for the knob, but my mind was running like the clappers down the street screaming like a trapped rat. But I did it, I opened the door,” she added.

Outdoor Toilet
Mrs Laney explained how she first met the spectre.

Before me sat a ghostly figure crouching on an outdoor toilet, I don’t know what I was more taken back by, the ghost, or the fact that I had an outdoor shit house. The noises now seemed like he was struggling to curl one out rather than frighten me, so I closed the door to give him privacy,” she explained. “When he emerged from the toilet, looking relieved, he introduced himself, as did I in return. There was something about him; it was love at first fright. It was just like that film, Ghost, except I didn’t have a pottery wheel so we got the Playdoh out and made green and pink sausages.

Heated Possession
As the evening continued, things became a bit more steamy and passionate.

We spent the night together, it was an evening of heated possession, we got up to all kinds of paranormal activities and he even gave me an out of body experience!
That was that night! I knew he was the one and I had to marry him before he buggered off with Sally Morgan! Two days later we wed. Derek Acorah was the ring bearer and we walked out to the ghostbusters theme, it was the happiest day of my life – and his afterlife,” she concluded.

Outdoor Shit House
The newlyweds are happily married and live together in Jackie’s Hendon home. Although the ghost spends a lot of time in the outdoor shit house making strange noises. Jackie told me, “I love living with him, he’s so much fun – except for when he’s floating about on the landing with a bed sheet over him, when I get up for a piss at 3am”.

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