Women’s Institute to Forge Post-Brexit Trade Deals

Following Andrea Leadsom's announcement that British tea, jam and biscuits will be at the heart of Britain's brexit trade plans, the WI have dispatched a trade envoy to forge trade deals across the world.

Britain's Biscuit Brexit Bonanza
Britain’s Biscuit Brexit Bonanza
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The Women’s Institute had risen to the challenge of building trade deals with the rest of the world, following the Government’s speech which highlighted tea, jam and biscuits as the new cornerstone of the British economy.

Ginger Beer
The Famous Five are also said to be involved in talks with China, over the export, of Aunt Joan’s cream scones with lashings of ginger beer.

Rhubarb and Sprout
Betty Cardigan, a WI member from Surrey told The Druid’s Loom, “Here at the Women’s Institute we have our annual jam making competition, which produces preserves of the highest quality. I actually won the regional competition myself last year, with my ‘Rhubarb and Sprout’ jam.”

“We also drink lots of tea and eat loads of biscuits. I therefore believe that the WI, is ideally placed to consolidate trade deals with Japan and India over the next 12 months,” she added.

Black Pudding
A spokesman for the Department of the Environment, Jack Fiftiesboy told The Druid’s Loom, “British tea, jam and  biscuits have been a firm favourite in this country for ages. That means we are experts in those areas and can export them to the rest of the world, because we are certain that they do not have tea, jam and biscuits. We also make loads of other cool foods that other countries may want, such as black-pudding, tripe and jellied eels.”

The Druid’s Loom approached the Japanese food trade secretary brandishing a black-pudding for him to try. He declined telling us that he’d rather eat a tramps cock, than consume a blood, fat and gristle filled sausage.

Fucking Stupid
Trade expert, Clive Grubble, is not so sure about the success of a ‘Tea and Biscuit” trade deal. “Modern economies tend to flourish  from high value export items, such as scientific advancements, new technology and financial services. Economies based on the trade of tea and biscuits and similar commodities kind of died out about 100 years ago. Personally, I think it’s a fucking stupid idea.”

“Also, doesn’t tea come from India and China in the first place?” he added, with a sense of bemusement and exasperation in his voice.

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