World Book Day – How Has This Suddenly Become a Thing?

Anyone who has anything to do with children, asked today, "How has World Book Day been allowed to become an annual event?

Reading, A Bit Shit When Compared to the Xbox
Reading – A Bit Shit When Compared to the Xbox and Facebook
PublicDomainPictures / Pixabay – CC0

Parents across the country reacted with horror this morning when they remembered is was bloody ‘World Book Day’.

Captain Hook

Mother, Judy Gwenck complained to The Druid’s Loom; “My daughter came running in this morning and told me she needed to be a character from a book. It was a nightmare. She had out grown all her fancy dress costumes. All we could do was scrabble about in her wardrobe a bit and see what we could put together.
Eventually I found an eye patch and a stripey T-Shirt. We modified a coat hanger, and now she is ‘Captain Hook’. It just looks shit.

Force Awakens

It isn’t just the parents who find it traumatic, the ‘World Book Day’ is hell for teachers too, as Miss Saunders from Edgehill Primary School explained:
“It’s just a day when over excited kids just piss around and fiddle with bits of their costumes. Most don’t even come as book characters. One boy came as Kylo Ren – since when was ‘The Force Awakens”, a fucking book?”

After seething for a bit, she clarified her statement, “I don’t blame the parents however, it’s the education system’s fault for buying in to this subversive marketing campaign. One poor mother had three kids to get ready – I saw her today in the playground – she was a broken woman.”

What is World Book Day?

It is an idea dreamt up by book companies to try and make reading cool again.

By giving away £1 book tokens, they can attempt to lure children away from ‘on demand TV and films’, games consoles and the internet – all of which are infinitely more appealing. It’s an idea that works for about two days – until Snapchat adds a new special effect or Facebook adds some new reaction buttons.

Even the children find the day quite traumatic. “My mum made me go to school dressed as a Hobbit“, a tearful Duke Barrington (12) told us, “Everyone else came in their own clothes and I just felt like a twat.”  he said, before locking himself in his room and turning on his Xbox One.

 

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How did you know its fake

Stop being a smug little prick.

R. Murdock

The tone of this article is reactionary and highly offensive. Keep up the good work.