Sounding a bit like a beleaguered parent whose child has been hassling them for a new bike and so for a quite life just says “We’ll See,” David Cameron told worried TATA steel employees he is “doing everything he can.”
Use of this statement kind of shirked responsibility for the situation because at least people will now think he tried to help. He further removed himself from the situation by saying, “There are no guarantees of success.“
Worried Steel Worker
“To be honest he might have well have told us that he can’t be arsed,” said Dai Blumf, a worried steel worker from Port Talbot.
The Druid’s Loom posed this to Gary Wankhoffa, a spokesman from the Department of Trade and Industry, and he told us, “In many ways Mr Blumf is correct. We really can’t be arsed with this shit. It’s just a couple of thousand people who wouldn’t vote for us anyway, so why bother to help. Far better to bail out the bankers, who will gladly thank us with a cross on the ballot paper and a few cheeky back-handers!“
The Druid’s Loom pointed out that many thousands of workers would be forced on to benefits and whole swathes of the area will become destitute.
“I couldn’t care less. It’s not a place I ever intend to visit anyway. Can’t they become male strippers like in that film Hot Stuff? I hear women like the grubby factory types,” he said, patronisingly, before putting the phone down.