Threat to Civilisation

Threat to Civilisation

Dear Editor, Whenever I read about Jeremy Corbyn in the media, he is portrayed as one of the greatest threats to civilization, after an asteroid strike. Recently, it was said that he poses a greater threat to the Falkland Islands than Argentina. I met Jeremy a few...
Customer Always Right?

Customer Always Right?

Dear Editor, I am the owner of a small café in Stow-on-the-Wold. The other day I was serving a gentleman his order and I thought he looked a little poorly. I asked him if he was okay, and he said it was just a bit of indigestion. A few minutes later, he collapsed...
Be Independent

Be Independent

Dear Editor, I have just read in the media that The Independent newspaper is going to cease print production and go digital only.Having read the utter shite that you produce, why don’t you follow in their footsteps. I know you don’t have a print version,...
Cheesy Balls

Cheesy Balls

Dear Druid, On a visit to “Pound Land” recently; I was horrified to discover a packet of “cheesy balls”, that contained the tag line, “Fluffy Little Cheesy Balls of Joy”. The images of popping these fluffy, cheesy balls in my mouth and somehow providing another man...
School Run Sex Offender

School Run Sex Offender

Dear Druid, I spotted this sign when I was doing my school run, and I followed the instructions carefully. I parked up; avoiding all obvious hazards. However, I must have been in the wrong place, because after running around the school playground for 20 minutes in my...