Harmony Blossom

Harmony, our resident lifestyle guru, offers her inappropriate advice and opinions to people and organisations hitting this week's headlines.

Have ISIS got an image problem?

by | 26th January 2016

Hardly a day goes by without ISIS making the news headlines for all the wrong reasons. Our lifestyle guru Harmony Blossom explores ways in which they can smarten up their flagging image.

 

Organise a fun run or a “dance off”

The next thing to do is to go out of your way to present yourselves as upstanding members of society. Ditch the swords, guns and dusty desert attire and wear a nice suit.

Sign up to open a few supermarkets, or hospital wards – this is great for publicity and can be lucrative too, earning those all important funds to further your political stance in a legal way.

Don’t shy away from charity work; true, it doesn’t make you money, but it will present you as a good, honest group of people.

Get a few members to do a fun run, or organise a “dance off” for “Children in Need”; the possibilities are endless! Have a read through my summary below for my top 5 ideas for public relations success.

My Tips for Improving ISIS’ Image

  1. Public beheadings are messy and attract a lot of negative publicity, organise a bake sale in aid of cancer research instead.
  2. Throwing gay people off buildings can lower house prices in the surrounding area, rather than upset the locals, why not take part in some volunteer work at a local care home for the elderly.
  3. Enslaving women for sex does not promote equal opportunities. An outreach program for disadvantaged children would make the headlines for the right reasons!
  4. Declaring a religious war against the west is bad for diplomacy. A better option is to take part in a charity Christmas single. The ISIS Choir has a certain ring to it, don’t you think?
  5. Coordinated terror attacks on capital cities around the world are difficult to organise and are at a high risk of failure due to heightened security across the world. A “bag pack” at a local supermarket is an easy way to raise much-needed funds, or charity donations, and the supermarket does most of the organising for you!

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