“I Need Help with French Kissing”

Excess saliva producing freak, asks the Druid for advice with kissing.

Kissing Like a Goldfish - Not Good.
Kissing Like a Goldfish – Not Good.
AdinaVoicu / Pixabay

Dear Auntie Druid,

I’m a 18 yr old boy and there’s been rumors going round that I’m a bad kisser. I now have a girlfriend and I don’t know if I still am. I do know however after each French kiss we make she wipes her mouth.

Is there a way of controlling the saliva flow? Or any other tips on moving your tongue around?

Kisser, Hartlepool,



Dear Kisser,

       Urgh, you sound quite disgusting. I imagine it is your girlfriend who is spreading the rumours. There is not much that can be done to stem excess saliva flow really so you are screwed on that count.

As for moving your tongue around, all that is going to do is spread your spit all around her face.

It’s probably best that you exit out of the relationship game for now. If this rumour is going round then it is unlikely anyone is going to want to kiss you anyway.

Leave the kissing for people who aren’t weird.


Kind regards

Auntie Druid


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