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Home » My Manhood Bends The Wrong Way

Clifton Turtle

Are you suffering from a burning sensation when you take a piss? Maybe you have piles? Or perhaps you just can’t get it up? Whatever your problem, Clifton Turtle is here to help. Please Note: Clifton is completely unqualified to help you, and the Druid’s Loom takes no responsibility for any injury caused when following his advice.

My Manhood Bends The Wrong Way

11th April 2022

A bannana sticking out of a pair of jeans.
That’s Gotta Hurt – A Bent Phallus, Yesterday
A reader is concerned about the downward curve on his love truncheon.
Send us a Problem

Dear Clifton Turtle,

I’m a 26 yr old man, and I am becoming increasing concerned about the curvature of my aroused member. It is basically bent like a hook and causes both me and my partner extreme discomfort during love making.

She tried to fellate me last week, and I nearly extracted her wisdom teeth.

Please help.

Embarrassed, Bootle,

Dear Embarrassed,

I would like to help you, I really would – but I haven’t stopped laughing since I read your email. Thank you for brightening up my day.

You should probably go and see a doctor and show them the problem. Just be careful, you don’t get to gouge their eyes out for something!

LOL!

Clifton Turtle

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Got A Problem? — Clifton Can Help

If you have an embarrassing problem, why not send it to us at the Druid's Loom, so the public can have a chuckle at your expense. 

Clifton will do his best to offer you support and advice, but please note, he is a borderline psychopath with the emotional intelligence of a slug.

Send details of your ailment or predicament to – problem@druidsloom.co.uk or fill in the form at the bottom of the page. We regret, that whilst we receive many hundreds of pictures of disfigured genitals, we are unable to publish them, on this site.

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Email  Us at

problem@druidsloom.co.uk

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