What Ho, readers. I love to write me! In fact, I have been known to miss really important COBRA meetings about Covid for my passion of writing shitty books.
Anyway, there has been a lot of talk in some of the loony lefty media about me seemingly doing what the f**k I want. Well, quite frankly, I am fed up with the political conversation being about me!
Stinking
So I have decided to write an article, explaining to the stinking electorate, as to why I can do what the f**k I want.
The main reason is that I am an over entitled wanker, who couldn’t give a shit about anyone who is beneath me. As I am the Prime Minister, I am literally at the TOP. I am better than you and deserve everything I want, when I want it!
Superiors
The sooner the British Public learns to look up to, and respect their superiors, the better it will be for all of us.
- If I want to spend £27,000 of taxpayers money on takeaways during lockdown, I can f**king do it.
- If I want to party while you can’t bury your Grandma, I can f**king do it.
- If I want to redecorate my Downing Street flat for £112,000, I can f**king do it.
- If I want to spend £150,000 on a tree house for Wilf where the concrete is mixed using the tears of poor people, I can f**king do it.
- If I want to give BILLIONS of pounds of contracts to my rich chums, I can f**king do it.
- If I want to lie about everything, ever, I can f**king do it.
Piss and Wank
I can piss on a tramp or have a wank outside a mosque and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Because I am the Prime Minster, Big Dog, the Big Man and I can do what the f**k I like.
Ignorant Scum
So what if I have been booed, or if there have been a few defeats in by-elections. I’ll just dish out a few knighthoods to my mates in the media. They will brainwash the shit out of you, and you will still vote for me again; you stupid, ignorant scum.
There is no need for me to change my lifestyle, just because you lot can’t afford your lottery tickets and cheap booze.
Now get back to the food banks where you belong, I have a huge feast, awaiting me, paid for by the taxpayer.
And afterwards, when I require a shit, I may just go and curl one off on the steps of Buckingham Palace. Why? Because I can do what the f**k I want!
Happy starving, plebs!
Boris x
