Media outlets, such as the Daily Mail, have today reacted with a pathetic level of pseudo surprise, that the NHS111 help line; A call-centre that uses untrained medical staff to give life and death advice, is not as good as its (more expensive) predecessor, NHS Direct, that employed trained nurses.
Finger Pointing
In typical tabloid style, newspapers have begun finger pointing and vilifying the staff, working under pressure at these centres, without tackling the root cause of the problem; which is chronic underfunding, and the fact that it was a totally crap idea in the first place.
Christmas Outfits
Many of these ‘blame’, stories feature members of NHS11 staff wearing Christmas outfits, or falling asleep exhausted, to highlight their lack of professionalism. They feature young staff, who have no means to defend themselves and are thus “easy prey”.
The Department of Health spokesperson Nora Blum told the Druids Loom.
“What you are seeing is all part of our plan to “reform” the NHS. We replace a struggling service, with something that struggles even more. We starve it of staff and funds, so it ultimately fails. Then we make sure that our newspapers report some tragic stories of these failures, and then we exploit these stories.”
Collateral Damage
Mrs Blum continued, “Staff working at these centres can then be investigated, they are not important and are essentially collateral damage; even if they never work again. Finally, after an investigation, NHS111 will be deemed not fit for purpose. We can then outsource the help line to a private company, who can charge premium rate phone numbers at 90p per minute.”
When asked if this would deter patients from using the help line and force then to A&E units instead, the Department of Health Explained
“Indeed, this will further stretch the hospitals, and we can repeat the whole process outlined above again, this time with the f**king NHS as a whole.”
