In the food strategy White Paper, the British government has decided that thousands of children will go hungry as it can’t be bothered to feed them properly.
Obese Face
Lazy, pig ignorant. Prime Minister, Boris Johnson – who filled his obese face, during the pandemic at his famous lockdown parties (pictured) – decided that poor children can starve.
“Err, well waffle sploffle, wiff waff,” he told the Druid’s Loom, whilst shovelling a pork pie into his fat gob.
“I don’t think it is necessary to feed dirty poor people who can’t feed themselves. They should all work a bit harder.” He chuckled, as he tucked in to one of his infamous £27,000 takeaways.
Rifle Through the Bins
As he wandered around his food filled office, guzzling red wine and champagne, he added, “I hear that people throw away a lot of waste food. Can’t the lower classes rifle through the bins or something?”
“It certainly isn’t my problem to feed other people’s kids,” he smirked, while a bit of whipped cream oozed out of the side of one of his rubbery lips.
Hauling his more than ample frame over to the buffet table, his bloated carcass eventually settled down next to the French pastries. He then proceeded to ram, one after the other, into his cavernous cakehole, whilst grunting happily.
Poor and Needy
“I don’t know what they are complaining about anyway. A few years ago it was the obesity crisis, then the pandemic crisis now it’s the cost of living crisis. There is always some f**cking crisis. It’s about time the British Public learned to stand on their own two feet,” he complained, as he poured himself a very large Whiskey.
“Surely it’s evident we don’t care about the poor and needy? We slashed universal credit. Then increased national insurance. Now we are raking it in, with taxes from increased fuel prices.” he added, showering our reporter with crumbs as he spoke.
Turtles Head
“I couldn’t give a shit if a few kids are a bit peckish, just pop to a foodbank or something,” he moaned, as he polished off a full pack of butter.
“Talking of shits, I have a ‘turtle’s head’ right now. You will have to excuse me as I go to take a massive dump.” he concluded, clutching his flabby gut and wincing a bit.
