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School Run Sex Offender

29th January 2016

A sign telling parents to park courteously when doing their school run.
Follow this advice carefully.
A reader lands himself in a spot of bother, misinterpreting a sign written on the school gates.
Send us a Letter

Dear Druid,

I spotted this sign when I was doing my school run, and I followed the instructions carefully. I parked up; avoiding all obvious hazards. However, I must have been in the wrong place, because after running around the school playground for 20 minutes in my Lycra suit, the headteacher called the Police. I was escorted to the police station, and now I have to sign onto the sex offenders register for 5 years.

May I urge readers to take extra care when parking near schools, as the restraining order and continuous dog turds through my letter box are both a real pain in the arse.

Derek Grunderflaps, Bexhill on Sea

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