by Druid's Loom Reporter | Jun 21, 2022 | News, UK
Staff at a Virgin Mobile call centre seem unable to expect a high volume of calls, it was revealed yesterday. For the past 120 days, lines have been jammed at the Hi-Tech facility in Birmingham, with customers being placed on hold for what feels like days. Virgin...
by Druid's Loom Reporter | Jun 20, 2022 | News, Showbiz, UK
The fictional British secret agent, James Bond, 007, has been suspended amid a number of salacious allegations dating back to 1962. Bond, James Bond GCHQ issued a statement today, explaining why the man, who has saved the world on no fewer than 24 times, will be...
by Druid's Loom Reporter | Jun 16, 2022 | News, Politics, UK
Without any surprise from the British public, Lord Geidt, the Ethic’s advisor to Boris Johnson, resigned last night. No Ethics The main reason for this is that he had nothing to do. There were no ethics to be found at number 10, whatsoever. “I was basically sat...
by Druid's Loom Reporter | Jun 15, 2022 | News, Politics, UK
There were scenes of utter chaos, last night in Marsham Street, in the City of West Minster, as the area was rocked by a series of violent tremors and the Home Office totally destroyed. Thunderbolt and Lightning “The floor shook and the ground cracked and opening up...
by Druid's Loom Reporter | Jun 13, 2022 | News, Politics
In the food strategy White Paper, the British government has decided that thousands of children will go hungry as it can’t be bothered to feed them properly. Obese Face Lazy, pig ignorant. Prime Minister, Boris Johnson – who filled his obese face, during the...
by Druid's Loom Reporter | Jun 12, 2022 | News, Politics, UK
It has taken a long time to secure an afternoon with Priti Patel. As she glided into the room, the temperature noticeably fell. The short, dumpy Home Secretary, complete with her trademark smirk, drifted eerily to a small leather armchair, and settled down. “You may...